Fellow MWN member, Sasha, shares her emotionally
transformative journey through art - and how you too can harness the power of drawing to discover, understand & process feelings (even if you’re not an artist!)
Passionate about playful experimentation and drawn to the idea of transformation,
a dark period in life led her to reconnect with her creative roots, and use art as a tool for healing.
Here’s her story + a simple, step-by-step process to get you started.
Written by: Sasha Mazur-K
I often find myself speaking in metaphors—it’s probably just how my brain works.
And I’d like to share a journey that turned out to be much bigger than I ever imagined - a journey that involved looking at my life through visual metaphors!
As a professional artist, I wasn't only creating images or installations, but also always setting high standards and aiming to achieve goals. After all my degrees and experiences, I knew very well how to approach a task, meet objectives, and reach desired outcomes.
I knew how to work extra hours, manage unexpected difficulties, and handle hard situations.
However, in the process of striving for perfection and professionalism, I started losing the joy and playfulness that initially drew me to this artistic profession…
I couldn't just sit down and draw freely.
I was consumed by thoughts of which material should I use?
What am I aiming for?
Why am I doing this, and not that?
Where to start?
Why even start this and not something else?
Such questions flooded my head, leaving me completely paralysed.
Looking for solutions I started drawing sketches on public transport and completing tasks from different online art groups.
It felt like I was studying again!
Niccceee…back to the roots? No!
It was all still absolutely “not it”, I was still craving something different.
Then, one day, I tried to draw my emotions.
It wasn't a logical decision.
I was down…like, very down.
I was furious, because I felt trapped and alone, especially with my young child. When we had arguments, my husband could just leave and take a break, but I couldn’t.
As a mother, I felt obligated to stay with my child, even though I desperately wanted to leave. I hated feeling trapped, yet I also felt responsible and guilty for wanting to escape.
My biggest wish I had at that moment—"open the door, leave this place and never come back"—was not an option. Sadly, not even for an hour.
I was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions—feeling obligated, resentful, and neglected (and many more) all at once. It was hard to separate these feelings and understand them individually.
So, just like I often told kids at the school where I used to teach, I told myself, "Just draw it out, Sasha - right now, as much as you can”.
And that’s when I started drawing them out.
By putting my emotions on paper, I could begin to see and understand what I was actually feeling.
Now I can name those emotions, yet at the time if anyone would ask me I would probably be able to say only something like: I am feeling awful, it’s hard to breathe.
But what I learned that day is that the practice of capturing how you feel on paper can be incredibly transformative.
Drawing my emotions allowed me to go deeper into what was actually happening inside me. By listening to myself and delving deeply into my feelings, I was able to understand them better. I gave them attention.
Emotions are signals, and like any signals, the more we ignore them, the stronger they will hit back to be noticed. When drawing something abstract like emotions, I had to give them tangible qualities.
I had to make them real, study them, pay attention and make them important enough to visualize.
This in itself eased a lot of sensations, but this was only the start of what I was getting from it.
So what actually happens?
Well, you give your emotion the attention it deserves.
They actually often don't get that, especially difficult emotions. And the ones that are tabooed, we ask them to go away. And it's actually the best scenario, because most commonly we simply ignore them.
When I draw how I feel, I have to sit and listen to what I desire, to what I'm feeling, to what is in there.
Yes, I need to pick up a pencil and draw my sadness. I don't even know what it is before I start it…
Pain?
Yeah, it often starts with this word.
Okay, what is this pain? Is it green? Sharp? Answers slowly unfold.
And I'm willing to share with you a story that became very supportive and transformative for myself.
At one point, I was feeling down and decided to draw what it was. The pain was strong.
First red, sharp strong lines, then toxic green lines and teeth, a lot of teeth, so many teeth.
Slowly it started to unfold.
It became a bunch of snakes destroying everything in its way. They crashed and completely smashed the place they were coming from.
It was red, painful, and cracked. They kept hissing.
I recognised it.
It was my self-criticism.
The image was so powerful and strong for myself, I decided to embroider it on my top.
Embroidery is a very slow process, and working on it gave me time to look differently at those snakes, to be with them for some time. I started seeing their beauty and their power. I saw they were so aggressive with me, trying to protect me.
I thought that if I stayed still, if I didn’t go out, didn’t talk too much, then the real danger wouldn't see me.
The real external criticism will never, ever enter my life.
That's what the snakes were protecting me from.
The embroidery started to transform.
I trusted the process and let it go. Some snakes became flowers and blossoms. Others turned outward. They were now protecting the flowers from outside.
I befriended them.
Yes, they are still scary…but not to me anymore.
I know who they are. I know what they want. I know how to talk to them.
I changed the image. But did I change only the image?
Drawings are just lines and dots on paper. But sometimes they can be more.Sometimes it’s a conversation with yourself.
The image provides distance. It is just an image, it doesn’t have to be more than that. But sometimes it becomes more. It can be as deep or as light as you want it to be.
The choice is yours. All choices are yours and that is the beauty of it. I’m sharing here what worked for me
and if you have a tickling sensation while reading it, maybe it will work for you too?
If you’re willing to try, here are a few steps to help you start:
Step 1: Gather Your Materials
Do you want to try creative artistic journaling? Gather some materials that you have around the house—pencils, pens, whatever you like.
It doesn’t matter what you choose, not at all.
You only need to like the material or at least be curious about using it.
It might be a simple magazine, scissors, and glue to make a collage! Or your red and blue pens from work. It doesn't matter!
The only requirement is that you want to use the material and feel drawn to it.
April 2024, workshop with Milan Women Network for "Wellness Day "
Step 2: Find Your Space
Find a place where you won’t be disturbed.
This can be challenging, especially for moms, but establishing quiet time is crucial.
For me, it was either early in the morning or late at night. The key is to find a time and place where you can be without interruptions.
Step 3: Go with the Flow
Now, start your journaling. Think about how you’re feeling right now.
If you had to choose a color to represent your mood, what would it be?
It might feel strange at first, but go with your instinct.
Look at your materials and pick one that you feel like using.
Make a line, a dot, or anything that feels right.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and let yourself be guided by your desires.
Focus on what you want to do next, without worrying about the final outcome.
Step 4: Transformation
When you recognise your state in your abstract lines and dots (but how will I know? Well, maybe simply feeling it, is enough. Maybe you don’t know what to add. Maybe the timer has beeped and that was the deal), look at it and ask yourself another question:
What would I like to add? Which colour, shape, form, or anything will make me like it more? And why?
At the end of all that, the drawing is yours to keep, or if you feel ready to release those emotions and sensations, you can throw it away, burn it, or post it to someone.
I like to keep mine, sometimes I look back at them and see how I changed.
I love it!
Sometimes I look back and can’t remember what it was about. Some are still painful to look at.
It’s a process, and more than that - it’s a journey.
A transformational journey through the power of art.
P.S. I’ve started an exciting new project in kids fashion - combining art, embodiment, expression and exploration! If you’re interested in collaborating with me or supporting my project, I’d love to connect with you!
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